Don't Let Unforgiveness Shatter Your Gratitude

"...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do ... And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through Him." 

Colossians 3.13 & 17

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Let's just come straight to the point. Unforgiveness is a thief! It is a dam that clogs up the freely flowing river of grace in our lives.

Unforgiveness causes blame, which can be a narrowing blinder on the eyes of any who engage in it.  When we won’t forgive someone, we are looking at their faults but not our own (and we all have plenty).

Unforgiveness can destroy relationships that ought not be torn apart. But for the persistent lack of pardon, happy unity between a married couple, friends, family members, or brothers and sisters in Christ could have continued.

Unforgiveness can create bitterness. The bible warns about a root of bitterness which can so easily springs up and troubles us, defiling many (Hebrews 12.15). I believe that often, a lack of forgiveness is that root. When one doesn’t forgive, when they could and should, that little root can turn into a deeply rooted poisonous plant. And who does it poison? Not necessarily the one who initially offended you, but you!

You will be the one most hurt from it all. It can smother your smile, take the spring from your step, topple your testimony, sour your song and eventually, hamper your health. 

You think I’m exaggerating? I’m not – at all. It’s very real.

Another negative impact that an unforgiving attitude can have on you is it that it will thwart your thankfulness.

Paul, the apostle of Jesus, in his letter to the church in Colossae in Asia, wrote:

Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Because we are forgiven, we must forgive.

Jesus tells of a man who owed his master 10,000 talents in money. By my calculations, if that’s in silver, today it would equal $200,000,000 in American dollars – something he’d never be able to pay.

His master forgave him the debt. Let that sink in.

The same guy had a fellow who owed him a hundred denarii, which today would be worth around, say, $8,000 to $9,000. Did he forgive him? No, he physically threatened him and had him thrown into debtor’s prison. Significant amount? Yes, but compared to what he’d owed his master it was nothing.

Jesus paid a debt for us that is unfathomable – the debt of all our sins. Can you imagine why we wouldn’t forgive others their debts? Even though God is gracious, when we don’t forgive, we’ll pay in some way.

I believe when we turn around and don’t forgive others when they ask for it, that it is a slap in the face of God. It shows our ingratitude for what he has done for us.

Don’t let unforgiveness hinder you from having a thankful heart. And don’t let an unthankful heart keep you from forgiving another.

When we learn to show grace, as our Lord has shown us incomprehensibly, happy gratitude will flood our souls once again.

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Sing your way to Thankfulness

YOU are a songwriter. We all sing tunes every day. I’m thinking about some of the whiny tunes I sing sometimes. Songs like: “Come on people, do you all have to drive so slow?” and then; “I’m too tired. Can’t it wait until I rest a while,” “Bills, bills, bills; seems all I pay are bills.” I bet you can write your own sad tune too.

We may write some other decent songs sometimes too, like: “I really enjoy me some chocolate pie,” “It’s Friday, the finest day of the week,” or “I just played the best game of my life.”

We’re all singing some kind of tune every day. We may as well be singing songs of thanks to the Lord than some of the others we sing.

As to giving of thanks, it was a habit of the Lord Jesus. He would give thanks and bless the food before meals. He thanked his Father for his wisdom in hiding truth from the wise and revealing it to babes (Luke 10.31). He thanked the Father ahead of time for hearing his prayer to raise Lazarus from the dead (John 11.41) Then, at the end of the last Passover meal with his disciples, the bible says they sung a hymn (Matthew 26.32).

I understand that according to Jewish tradition, this parting Passover hymn would have been one of the Psalms from 113 to 118 which was called the Hallel, meaning “praise.” It’s the root of the word, “hallelujah” which means “praise Yahweh” – in every language.

It may have been these words:

Praise the LORD!

Praise, O servants of the LORD,

Praise the name of the LORD!

Blessed be the name of the LORD

From this time forth and forevermore!

From the rising of the sun to its going down

The LORD's name is to be praised.

The LORD is high above all nations,

His glory above the heavens.

Who is like the LORD our God,

Who dwells on high,

Who humbles Himself to behold

The things that are in the heavens and in the earth?

He raises the poor out of the dust,

And lifts the needy out of the ash heap,

That He may seat him with princes ---

With the princes of His people.

He grants the barren woman a home,

Like a joyful mother of children.

Praise the LORD!  –  (Psalm 113)

Perhaps they sang these powerfully prophetic words:

         Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; Yes, our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me.Z
Return to your rest, O my soul, For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
For you have delivered my soul from death, 
My eyes from tears, And my feet from falling.
I will walk before the LORD In the land of the living. (Psalm 116.5-9)
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving, 
And will call upon the name of the LORD. (verse 17)

Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter of the bible, but mighty in message:

          Praise the LORD, all you Gentiles! Laud Him, all you peoples!

          For His merciful kindness is great toward us, 

          And the truth of the LORD endures forever. 

          Praise the LORD!

It could have been Psalm 118 which both begins and ends with this:

  Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
  For His mercy endures forever.

These Psalms were not just spoken, but sung. We can say for certain that Jesus did sing and led his small band of believers in song as well.

Many times I have returned from the house of God uplifted and have carried that boost with me to start my week off in thanksgiving and praise. Often we will remember scriptures that are sung better than those that are spoken.

Whenever your thanksgiving meter is on the down side, bust out into a song. Sometimes I do and people look at me kind of funny, but that’s OK. If you are too shy to sing in public, sing in the shower, in your car or when home alone. But songs of thanks and praise can get your heart going in the right direction. Just watch what God will do from there.

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Being Rich in God's Word Produces Thankfulness

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom … giving thanks to
God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3.16-17)

For most, there is some familiarity with the bible. Even people who are not Christians use words or phrases from the bible like: “Armageddon,” “Judge not lest you be judged,” “Go the extra mile,” “Rise and shine,” “Eat, drink and be merry,” “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” “Twinkling of an eye,” “At your wit’s end,” “The truth shall set you free,” “The apple of your eye,” “Adam’s apple.” Wait -- that's not in the bible!

Some know the scriptures a little deeper. They can quote John 3.16 (which is maybe the greatest verse in all the bible), can name most of the ten commandments, can list some of the beatitudes and a few of the apostles. They can tell you a few bible stories too.

But this verse tells us to “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” What does this mean? Well, when a person is rich, they have lots of money. When a food is rich, it has lots of sugar or spices. When someone is rich in God’s word they have a lot of bible knowledge, but it is more than that. It is thinking according to his word, speaking according to it and acting according to it. 

As reigns to a horse, the word of Christ becomes the reins of our lives. As a rudder to a ship, the bible becomes our directive. As the northern star to a navigator, the bible gives us our bearings. It becomes our guide, our rock to lean on, our resource, and our compass. If we’re rich with God’s word, we can not only quote scripture but it shapes our worldview, our self view, our God view and our view of eternity.

As we learn the word in this way, “in all wisdom,” we are filled with hope, joy, love and peace. It becomes the sword of God’s Spirit as he fights off our enemy, the devil, through it. Wow! This gives us so much to be thankful for!

Some days, we may not be able to see that much good happening. But “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” And “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

So on those days, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly for this will give you much to be thankful for. On the days when you do see a lot of good, let his word dwell in you richly still, for a time will come when his promises will be all that you will have. This will give us plenty to be thankful to God for every day of our lives.

Try this: When you read your bible each day, stop and thank God for the rich realities he has shown you through it.

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The Unacceptable Thanksgiving

“God, I thank you.”

Sounds good. Looks good on paper.

But wait a minute. We should read the rest of the story. It comes to us from Jesus as he was teaching and is found in the bible (Luke 18.10-14)

This giving of thanks was given by a hypocrite. Do you want to know what Jesus thought of hypocrites? He said that they were sons of hell, fools and blind, blind guides who would strain out a gnat and swallow a camel, whitewashed tombs, and serpents and vipers – not very high praise (see Matthew 23.13-29).

The prayer of the hypocrite sounds good at the beginning; “God I thank you,” but its plus side ends right there. The rest of the prayer is all about all the “goodness” this man possessed.

He was proud about all that he was not. “I am not like other men --- extortioners, unjust, adulterers ...” In his inflated ego, he thought that he was nowhere near as bad as they were.

He was proud of his religious endeavors. “I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.”

He was proud that he was not like the tax collector who stood at a distance. The tax collector was detested by most first century Jews but especially by the Pharisees who considered them “sinners.”

The Pharisee may as well have been thanking himself for it was himself that he really worshiped. In fact, Jesus said the Pharisee “prayed … with himself.” He may have felt like his prayer was magnificent but God didn’t.

But there were two men who went to the temple to pray that day. The other man, a tax collector, prayed as well but not hypocritically. His prayer was honest and humble – “standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast.” His prayer mentioned no good deeds of his own but was plain and pure, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

The Pharisee was much more religious but the tax collector was repentant. The Pharisee was eloquent, but the tax collector was focused. The Pharisee was impressive but the tax collector was sincere. The Pharisee was proud but the tax collector was humble before God.

Jesus said that the tax collector went down to his house justified, but not the Pharisee, quite the opposite of what we would have thought.

Jesus told us not to pray like the Pharisees whose main goal was to be seen and heard. This they received. Jesus said should not pray long public prayers, but we should pray to God regularly, often in private.

When we give thanks, we are not to give ourselves credit, for that is not thanksgiving, that’s tooting our own horn.

True thanksgiving is humble. It is genuine – not feigned. True thanksgiving is truly telling the true God and Creator how grateful we are for all he’s done for us.

We should thank God that even though we are undeserving, he has graciously and mercifully provided his forgiveness and salvation to us.

Humility, a Channel of Thankfulness

Photo by Seth Willingham on Unsplash

What to wear? What to wear? It sure is hard to know how to dress every day (unless you are a man or wear a uniform to work or school).

What we wear is important, though. It says a lot about who we are, how we think, and can make an impression on the right people, (like someone you’re dating).

If our physical attire is important, so much more crucial is our Spiritual apparel. What am I supposed to wear? God’s word tells us to put on:

1. Tender mercies, 
2. Kindness,
3. Humility,
4. Meekness,
5. Longsuffering,
   Bearing with one another,
   Forgiving one another,
   If anyone has a complaint against another;
   Even as Christ forgave you, 
   So you also must do. But above all these things put on:
6. Love (charity, agape).
                          which is the bond of perfection. 

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Colossians 3.12-15)

Do you sometimes find yourself being grumpy, as people, noises and pains get on your nerves all of the time? Well, just be thankful and that will subside.

Are you having trouble forgiving somebody? Be thankful for God’s forgiveness on your part. We’ve all done plenty wrong but God has forgiven his children for each sin. As we thank God for his forgiveness, we can much more easily forgive others (see Matthew 6.12).

Are you a little proud – or a whole lot? When we’re thankful, it’s hard to stay proud and arrogant. When we’re thankful to God, we realize that “It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves.” There are no self made men, only self made messes. When we’re thankful we know that blessings are just that – blessings, not something we accomplished on our own.

When we’re thankful, we realize that salvation is all for the glory of God alone, not because of any good works you or I have done. It is by grace through faith in the atoning blood of the Lord Jesus Christ; nothing to be proud of there and nothing to boast of except Jesus and the cross.

Once we realize that God has done everything for us, how thankful we become. Any of us would be much worse off if we got what we deserved. We could be in hell. Thank God for his mercies, thank God for his goodness, grace and love. Thank him for his longsuffering. He’s put up with a lot from us.

God says to put on humility and we become more humble when we’re thankful.

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Thankfulness Invites the Presence of God

There are certain things you cannot understand unless you’ve experienced it. Like these:

•         Just how hot
       it gets in
       Texas.
•          What it’s like
       to win a
       champion-
       ship. 
•          How it feels
       when you
       start to get
       old.
•          Having a
       baby.
       (they say)
•          Eating the
       banana pudding my Mom used to make.
•          Having the privilege of being a Pawpaw.

Do you ever wonder why God seems so far away? Perhaps you know in your mind that he is here but you cannot feel it in your soul. Someone has said; “If it ever seems as if God is far away ….. Guess who moved.”

There is much truth to that, for the bible says that God is immoveable. “For I am the LORD, I change not,” (Malachi 3.6) and “his compassions fail not” (Lamentations 3.22). It says, “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13.8) God does not change, but we do, often removing ourselves from his discernible presence.

How can we enter again into that Shekinah glory of God, his dwelling presence? God’s word says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4.8). Faith is a factor, “let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith (Hebrews 10.22), as well as obedience. When we disobey, we are running from God’s presence as did Jonah (Jonah 1.3).

One of the most important things for entering back into the dear presence of God is through thanksgiving. Paul writes, “…with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God … and the God of peace will be with you.” (See Philippians 4.6-8)

This passage had already said we would have the “peace of God.” Now we see that we will also have the presence of the “God of peace.” 

We are told that God inhabits the praises of his people, Israel. This means that where people praise him and give him thanks, there he dwells. That’s where you will find his presence. Where he is present in such a way, there is his glory.

Some people may not understand what the term “glory of God” means. It is one of those things that will never really be understood until you’ve experienced it. 

And, once you’ve experienced it, you’ll never want to be without it. So, give thanks to Him.

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Thanksgiving Helps Create a Positive Attitude

“Just stay positive” they say; then someone has to go and say or do something really negative.

I know some people who are so negative you cannot even find the positive post on their car battery.

Some are so negative that they think a (+) is only two (–)’s going in two different directions.

A monk took a vow of silence. Once at the monastery, he was told, “You must not speak, but once a year you will be able to say two words.”

At the end of one year they told him he could speak. He answered, “Food bad.”

After the second year when it came time for him to talk, he said, “Bed hard.”

On his third opportunity to say something, he answered, “Room cold.”

The next year he’d had all he could stand and blurted out, “I quit.”

Their answer to him was, “We’re not surprised. You’ve done nothing but complain ever since you got here.”

Sometimes people tell us not to be negative. Well, that sounds pretty negative to me! You can tell people all day long not to think something and they will think it. I think it works much better to give people something good to think about.

In fact, that’s exactly what God does in his word. Remember, again, that Paul is imprisoned and perhaps ready to face a sentence at some point. He doesn’t know whether he is going to live or die (Philippians 1.20).

But you do not find a list of complaints in Philippians. Instead you’ll see a list of good things to think about:

Whatever things are true,
Whatever things are noble,
Whatever things are just,
Whatever things are pure,
Whatever things are lovely,
Whatever things are of good report,
If there is any virtue and
If there is anything praiseworthy
– Meditate on these things. (Philippians 4.8)

How can anyone think so optimistically when surrounded by evil people with evil intentions, undesirable circumstances and others around them spouting off complaints?

Have you ever seen a pump that was so dry that it would not pump water? If you pour maybe just a cup of water into that well shaft, the pump is primed and ready to draw clear cold water out of the well.

Well, we may have to prime our praise pump just a little bit. Thanksgiving doesn’t always come easily; but as verse 6 says, in “prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,” once you begin to thank him, the acclamation will begin to flow.

If you cannot think of any big blessings for which to thank God, start thanking him for the little ones. Soon you will begin to think of so many good things that God has done and is doing, that you’ll realize there are plenty of things to thank him for – large and small.

Having entered into thanksgiving in your heart and with your tongue, then you’ll begin to realize a whole list of blessings that he has sent your way. You’ll think of true, noble, just, pure and beautiful things. You’ll think of things virtuous, thoughts of good news and things that are praiseworthy.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that as long as you are continually giving thanks, it will be virtually impossible to have a pessimistic attitude and a sure thing that you’ll think positively.