Be Sure You Find an Equal Yoke

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On a video we saw recently, a couple was getting married. The minister stood before the couple to help them go through the typical vows.  

Minister:         “I make this covenant with you,”
Groom:           “I make this covenant with you,”
Minister:         “In the name of the Father...”
Groom:           “Whose Father … hers or mine?”

Come to think of it, I guess that's a valid question.

Now days, when people marry, there is often confusion as to whom we are making our vows. 

We vow to our spouse before those present but we are also vowing before our Father God in heaven. He is the Father in whose name we make our vow.

One problem with marriages nowadays is the unequal yoke. We read in 2 Corinthians 6.14:

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

You may say, “What is an unequal yoke?”

People around the world used to plow with various types of animals. Some still do. The Lord had told Israel not to plow with an ox or donkey together, not because he cared so much about how they farmed but to present a more important picture: Don’t create a bond with those who don’t believe in the LORD.

This does not prohibit us from all associations with unbelievers. “Then,” says Paul, “you would need to go out of the world.” [i] We can have good relationships with many non-Christians, and love them, but there should be no binding connection.

Examples of close associations Christians should avoid with unbelievers would be partnership in a business, investments, alliance in political endeavors, but most of all, marriage.

There is no closer bond than the bond of marriage. Husband and wife are not just tied together, they are welded. Whenever God brought him his wife, Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” [ii] 

God’s commentary on this was, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Breaking that bond will cause serious problems. It causes severe repercussions on the individual, the couple, the family (children, grandchildren, parents, extended family) and the society.

Jesus said; “'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female,'" and then said, “'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."[iii] (Notice that Jesus did not say men were to marry men nor women marry women. And, Jesus said God made everyong male and female, not something gender fluid or something we can decide for ourselves. Such an idea is a Satanic perversion.)

Most children of divorced parents will end up in a fatherless home which creates many problems for those kids. [iv] Many will live with a step parent to which some will never adjust.

Christians, as well as the rest of society, fall victim to divorce way too often as well. Although a man or woman may say they know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, many  do not live up to their profession. There is no obvious love for the Lord Jesus in their lives. Many of these love sin more than the Savior, gambling more than God, lust more than love, fun more than family, and money more than meekness.

I'm not writing these things to chastise anyone or bring any unnecessary guilt upon them. We're about grace, not guilt. There is forgiveness and redemption. There is hope and healing, and many who enter into a second or subsequent marriage will find true love and companionship. Many children of divorce will find strength to go on and will often find a new father figure or mother figure in their lives that will bring them great blessing. We all pray that they will.

We are striving to help people make the right choice before entering into an “unequal yoke.” It is not bi-racial marriage that God prohibited his people from entering into, rather it was the marrying of those from the nations of idolaters and wicked people.

Here are some good questions to ask about your prospective mate before you marry:

• Does he/she claim to know Jesus Christ?
• Does he/she love to pray and read God’s word?
• Does he/she love to hang out with God’s people (the church)?
• Does he treat his Momma right?
  (If he doesn’t, he probably won’t treat you right either!)
• Does he/she live a life consistent with what they say they believe?
• Do you, yourself, live according to all the above?

Don’t think you are going to change someone whose heart is not right with God. If anything, they are putting their best foot forward right now. I have seen many make abundant promises only to revert back to old ways after gaining someone’s confidence. We know anyone can be changed by God, but don’t test him! He has placed his principles in his word for us to live by, not for us to presume upon his mercy.

Those were the don’ts. Here are the do’s:

• Do pray for God to direct you to that one person.
• Do search the scriptures for understanding.
• Do seek godly counsel and listen to those who love you and don’t mind speaking the truth.
• Do give yourself time to get to know this person you feel you love. Don’t commit too soon.
• Do let the peace of God be your guide.
• Do be willing to go through life unmarried rather than to marry an unbeliever.
• Do trust God when he gives you the green light.
• Do everything you can to hold your marriage together with the Spiritual soul mate that God has given you – through thick and thin.

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[i]   1 Corinthians 5.10

[ii]  Genesis 2.23

[iii] Matthew 19.3-6

[iv] If you have the guts to read about the effect on kids without Dads, read:
   https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/